Season ender

Confession.
I have become a tv show junky since I have gotten married.
Monday nights is Castle. Tuesdays, when I remember, is Glee. Thursdays, oh Thursdays! is Grey's Anatomy. And Sunday nights is Army Wives.
I want to also become faithful to Veronica Mars reruns. And I desperately want Combat Hospital to be good. I tried Off the Map for awhile because it was from the creators of Grey's Anatomy, but ugh. I lasted perhaps three weeks, and I think it lasted maybe five. I also tried watching last summers The Gates, simply because the previews intrigued me. That ....I can't even say. Just horrible.

But, I have come to the conclusion that I hate in between series. Summer shows are horrible, but most of the time, early winter shows are worse. You know, the ones introduced while your favorite show is taking a hiatus during the holiday season?  Rip offs of that show you love often directed at target audiences?  Yeah. Off the Map failed for me. Which is why I'm leery about Combat Hospital.  It seems to be some sort of Grey's influence, only this time, aimed at the military. Hmmm. Could be good? Music Man, however, has mentioned wanting to watch it. I think it's because I got him hooked on Grey's in the first place. Now, he'll sit there and make fun of the show week after week, but he never makes me change the channel.

A candy bar and a pair of big, brown eyes.

I pressed down on the top of my Cadbury carmello square and watched the soft, maize-colored caramel ooze over the think corners. The thin, curved sheet of chocolate on top so very softly began to melt from the heat of my index finger. I savored this moment.

I nibbled the square wanting to indulge in the first bite, fully understanding no other would be as decadent.
Yes, I gorge myself on Cadbury eggs during the Easter season, but it has been years since I have treated myself to a full caramello bar.
I was ready.
I was willing.
I skipped dinner so I could indulge in all 540 calories.


I bit down and began to savor the waxy, processed chocolate.
Ugh, even a Hershey's bar tastes better, I thought to myself.

"Oh, I'm still a dreamer / a believer..."

"Sometimes I just wanna start over / Cuz everything looks like a wreck / And I need the courage to carry on
 / Cuz I can’t see what’s ahead..."

I've had numerous days where I wish I could close my eyes and wake up again that same morning, so I can fix whatever mess I've gotten myself into or change my attitude about the little things that get me. When I look back at my life (which isn't that often because I try to stay forward focused, nor very much considering I'm only 24) I sometimes think I'd like to go back to the beginning of my junior year of high school and start over there. It's not that I was a party kid and made terrible mistakes that year. I didn't drink. I didn't do drugs. I didn't have sex. I didn't lie, cheat, or steal. So I have nothing to fix. That year was simply a good year for me. I was starting the journey towards getting into college and deciding what I really wanted to be when I grew up. My faith had become such a part of me that year that I was seeing life through it. I simply want to go back so I can cement the dreams I had started to develop, and the character God was creating in me and stick with them.

A wave of the sea: My Illinois half-marathon recap

Eleven days ago I ran my first race of the summer season. A 13.1 mile race to be exact. It's actually been four years since I did my last half-marathon, and if I'm going to complete my 5-year plan of becoming a full-Ironman finisher, this was the year to see if my body could still finish 13.1 miles. (Next year is the trek to to half-Iron which includes a half-marathon for the run portion.)

I'll admit right now that my training for the race was horrible. And probably dangerous. In my twelve weeks of lead up, the most I ever ran for my long runs was seven and a half miles. Oh, I was supposed to make it up to twelve about two weeks before the race, but with moving and starting a new job, I just lost my motivation to run. I'm surprised I'm not injured, actually.  I heard once that you should take as many rest days after a race for as many miles as you ran. I still have two rest days to go, yet my triathlon training started yesterday. But I'm not very motivated for that either, and I can't slack on this training because I'm upping my race distance this year. Olympic size. For those who aren't up to race distances, and Olympic is 1500 m of swimming, 24 miles of biking, and 6.2 miles of running. What I'll actually be racing is double the distance I raced the last couple of years. Stepping it up a notch per say.
So far, I don't have a pool to train in. And my run yesterday morning only lasted 15 minutes. Half of what I was supposed to do.
And boy was I slow.
And boy was my heel was really stiff and sore.
I felt like I couldn't even remember how to run.
I'm doubting my ability to train for this race.