Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude and How Math Makes it Even Better

Oh, isn’t that the truth.

The last week has been another week of could-have-been-loneliness considering Music Man is off on another two week Army stint.

But besides class keeping me busy in the afternoons, it’s the things in my life that I’m thankful for that has gotten me through each day.

 

Like my best friend, Math Nerd, who made an out-of-the-way pit stop to visit me on her way to hometown shenanigans.
She’s a teacher in TN, so her summers are usually full of summer school, church youth trips, and time with her family. Of which she is spending for the next couple of weeks.
It’s been seven months since we’ve seen each other, and that’s the hard part of being so far away from friends.

I don’t get to see them every week like I’d love too.

I mean, I did live with this gal while I was in college, so now it’s like I don’t know what going on in her life half the time.

But I’m thankful for a fun time together last week right after Music Man left.

 

Friends are what get you through the hard times in life.
And the ones that are there for you when you decide to inflict pain upon yourself

Math Nerd’s father passed away last December and thanks to Pinterest, and a tattooing friend, I’m pretty sure she now has the coolest tattoo ever.
Yup. Totally his handwriting.
He was my dad away-from-home while I was at college, so the last time we saw each other wasn’t the easiest circumstances, but this time, we just got to relax and be lame together.

Goober JJ has also been a little bit more loveable with Music Man gone.

So, this might have been a night when he heard loud noises outside and got scared so he had to come and curl up in the corner of my bedroom, but still.
He has been sleeping on my floor every night.
It’s like he knows I need another heartbeat in the room to sleep well.

I’m also thankful for the goofy moments I get to hold onto.
Sure, 9 pm hit last night and I couldn’t remember for the life of me if I’d fed JJ supper, sometimes my memory is like that, but I can hold onto some things pretty well.
Like how a couple of days before Music Man left we went wish-listing (aka what we would buy when we strike it rich) for a new bed and pretty much just took afternoon naps on some amazingly comfortable beds.

This is usually what take 1-49 look like when I take photos of the two of us.

As an army wife, I’ve learned a few things over the last couple of years from experiences and friends.
It’s so easy to sit around and mope. To feel sorry for myself. To be lame (which I still am half the time). To forget.

But everyday there are so many good things to remember. To hold on to. To try. To be thankful for.

And even if I wasn’t an army wife or used to the military way of things, even if you aren’t, I still think that thought holds true.

If we count our the things we are thankful for, no matter how simple, or goofy, or ridiculous they seem, they are all important and beautiful.

They seem to multiply into life blessings, and I find myself reveling in the fact that my life is full of goodness.

Who knew math could ever make my life better?

Passing the Baton: What sort of little, simple, goofy things are you thankful for this week?
______________________
Choose Joy.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude and what I take for granted

Lately, I’ve been wondering about this rascal.

For a good minute last week, I thought I had poisoned him. But, the bag of food we had for him wasn’t part of the recall.
Then, last night I had the creepiest dream about him having a stroke, and being all off balance and wobbly. Probably because I saw a three legged dog yesterday.

And then this morning as I walked in the door from my morning run, my best friend proceeded to tell me she awoke to the sound of my dog barfing.

Eureka, I’ve discovered the cause of the secret spots.

So… we have a vet appointment tomorrow to see what’s up with the guy.

Yup. HIs barf was definitely part of my morning, as was the fact that I got to haul our our overloaded garbage.
My least favorite chore ever that Music Man somehow manages to weasel out of every time he leaves.

But as I was carrying the stinky bag full of barf infused napkins across the parking lot, I started thinking.
Even though I don’t normally handle this chore, I was thankful for the chance.

Because it reminded me of how someone in my life will take care of something I hate to do, just to help out or make me feel better.
And that even though JJ is a dog, he’s still a beating heart to care for and one prepping me for a whole lot more caring down the road.

It got me thinking about gratitude and my 25th year, and how I’m on this search to banish anxiety and find happiness.
But then I though, what if I don’t accomplish every single thing on my list?
Will I not be joyful? Will I be disappointed? Will I not have mastered the act of happiness?

No.

Because no matter much I try to find happiness, I think happiness is already here.

It’s in the small things.

It’s in the daily things.

It’s in the fact that Music Man always takes out the garbage, or takes JJ outside before bed just so I don’t have too.

It’s in the fact that even though I had a horrible-beautiful run this morning, I was able to get up and move.

It’s in the fact that even though JJ might be sick and is a little mopey because Music Man is gone, he is able to feel and love.
And tomorrow is his birthday.

I’m not going to give up my quest and just forget about the 25th year, because those really are things I want to do for me. And in fact, I’m making progress on them and they truly are helping me to let go of my anxiety.

And I know some of you might read my blog and think, “she complains a lot” because I talk about missing my husband while he’s gone, or I talk about how hard running really is for me.

But this is a blog about my life.
A blog about enduring through my life.

And so that means I’m going to talk about the hard stuff I face, and yeah, I’m probably going to complain about it some, and then write about it all metaphorically because that’s what I do.

But it’s a little thing that makes me happy.

Words.
Sharing with you, even if I don’t know who you are.

Because my hope is that in sharing  my little things—especially in gratitude—is that  I’m able to help you find yours.

 

"Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy."
~Stephen King, On Writing

Thought for your Thursday: How are you getting happy today? This week? What’s something little in your life that if you thought about it right now would make you smile?
____________________
Seek Peace. Choose Joy

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

So many things this week to be thinking of and thankful for.

I feel that’s one of the reasons this has been such a happy week.

As much as I’m seeking contentment, and learning how to control anxiety, and to just let things go….it’s the thankful aspect that really, truly, helps me to understand contentment and joy.

Without further ado, my thankful thoughts of the week.

1. Music Man is home. Yes, he’s got another away stint next month, but that’s next month. This week is this week, and despite work and class and just plain busyness. He. Is. Home.
2. I’m thankful that Music man is willing to work an outrageous amount of hours and like a little peon to provide for us while I’ve started summer school. Someday, we’ll be looking back and thinking “remember when we did those ridiculous things like sling around boxes and wait tables to pay rent?” Our future kids will thank us.
3. Fruit. ‘Nuff said.
4. Tomorrow is my last day of my online class and then I'm home free for two weeks. I WILL conquer my stack of free reading books. I WILL write. I may paint our bedroom.
5. Tuesday may have been my last day running with RB since she’s moving this weekend, but I’m thankful for her encouragement. I signed up for my first marathon because of her. I even got up early and ran on my own this morning because of her. She helped me realize the importance of a running buddy, and how sometimes, we all need someone to push us.
6. JJ. He’s crazy and maybe sick right now, or just getting old, or just dealing with a bout of some feet issues but no matter how much pain he is in, he knows how to love.
7. Running. I’m thankful to move. To choose to move. To want to move. To enjoy moving. To get to train in the mornings and to coach ladies in the evenings and to run with a group on the weekends.  I love falling in love with running again.
8. Finally, this.
   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know. People probably think I’m crazy, and it hurts my heart that this kind of weather is causing so much loss in Colorado, but I do love summer.

I love the sun. I love the heat.
And it reminds me of Texas.

Thought for your Thursday: If you had to list, say 7 things, you were thankful for this week, what would you say? Would those things already be in the forefront of your mind or would it take you awhile to discover them?

__________
Choose Joy.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

It’s been an interesting 3.5 weeks.
Sometimes I take for granted that my husband is still a soldier, and so, when he has to leave for training, it really makes me think about the life we have together.

And yes, it’s far from perfect.
And yes, we’re back to being poor, married, college students with a dog for our kid.

And I may or may not be going through a quarter life crisis because my “life plan” has changed.
And there are many, many days when I wish we had a house of our own, we were settled in careers, or we could vacation in Hawaii.

But now that I’m learning to breathe, I stop and realize that all that wishing/wanting can sometimes make me forget the great life we do have.

 

We have a roof over our head  that’s a place for our youth group kids to come and hang out at and we have neighbors who are the most wonderful women.
We may not be headed to Hawaii this year, but I have plans for fun… you just wait.
We may not have careers yet, but we’re both pursuing our passions. And I’m writing.
And we may not be rich monetarily, but we are truly rich: in Grace, in love, in friends, and in family.

 

This past weekend I got to escape to visit my family for the weekend, and of course I took the kid with me.

And it was such a nice little getaway from my hermitness.
I spent time with my mom and dad who I celebrated on Dad’s day, and I got to visit with my brother and talk about his upcoming wedding and first full time job he just landed.
But the best part might have just been movie time with Wonder Woman.
I mean… I’m not a huge Cruise fan, but for almost 50, he sure rocked it out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve firmly decided that if my own Music Man ever becomes a Rock God, I’ll definitely be his groupie.
I am a musical NERD, and it’s something I share with Wonder Woman. We had a ridiculous amount of fun, and I contribute that to her and my dad, because if it wasn’t for their musical taste, I wouldn’t have grown up with this music.
And I LOVE sharing in things with family.
Both my nuclear and in-laws. There is so much debt to Music Man and I’s family, and someday when we do bring children into it, they will be the most loved and weirdest beings ever.

I’m learning that it’s the small things.
It’s not the fancy vacations, or the two story, blue shuttered home, or the career or even having my blog overflowing with comments that brings gratitude.
It’s the things and people and passions and love I have in my life that are constant and unchanging that bring an outpouring of gratitude.

Because those things last.
And Hawaii, well, pictures only do so much.

Passing the baton: What are you grateful for this week? Have any little things just brought an overabundance of joy to you this week? What made you smile?

___________________
Seek Peace. Choose Joy.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude and Running

Today….today is simple gratitude.

Today marked the last day of my two hard summer intensive classes.

And I passed with flying colors.

Remember back when I was all whiney about failing an assignment and doing horrible on a test?
Well, I kind of sort of Aced my test both last week and this week. AND I got a 25/25 on my case study this week.
I was only points away from a A for my final grade, but you know, I’m actually ok with that.

Because I withstood time, and each week I improved.

I endured, and the end result paid off.
I kind of even feel smarter in psychology.
And… I know that despite quitting my job, despite being poor this summer and probably stressed, this is exactly where I, we, are supposed to be.

Plus, my professor (who was GREAT!) took us all out for ice cream.

That’s definitely the “Emack Attack.” Around 24 scoops and every topping imaginable.
it’s a good thing there were 10 of us sharing. Though I probably could have eaten it all myself.

 

Today, I am also super thankful for running.

It may have been the week I had to finally make the decision that no, I will not be racing any triathlons this year, but I’m going to fall in love with running again this summer.

I’ll be swimming and biking, and enjoying all that cross training, but I’m going to start training for my first 26.2
Which is absolutely crazy, but exciting all at once.
And my “pre-training” started this week.

I have a 16 week plan that I’m going to attempt, and so, in order to attempt that, I need to build on the mileage base I have going now.
Which leads up to my 5-week pretraining. And I am stoked.

Not only that, but I’ve started a ladies running group that’s going to be a mix of a couch to 5k program, and some fun, longer runs because there’s such an array of ladies who are interested.
It’s going to be my first taste of sharing my running passion/knowledge aka unofficial coaching, and I am so excited.
I think it’s going to be a lot of mileage…but I’m ready for it.

It’s really hard sometimes to say no to things… but I’m beginning to find that there is always a yes down the road.
My timing is always off, and I’m impatient as heck, but when those yesses come, I know it’s because He’s ready for me.

And those yeses are what bring the most joy.

Passing the Baton: What are you thankful for today? Have you had some closed doors for the summer already? If so, what are they? Do you have any idea what open door they might lead too? Would you eat the “Emack Attack” all by yourself, too?
_______________________
Seek Peace. Choose Joy. Find Strong. Breathe Hope. Live Faith.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

 

My days should be filled with this prayer.

 

But most days aren’t

I worry. I stress. I get anxious. I complain.

When honestly, the mornings I wake up and I have breath and I can move and I can love…

those are days some people do not or will not ever get.

Today is Thursday, and it’s slowly been becoming a day when I meditate and reflect and share gratitude.

And after two tests, 1 quiz, and a week of reading… I would normally be giving extra thanks.

But I’m throwing those things aside today and simply being.

 

Because thankfulness… it isn’t always something to express in words.

It’s something to just be.

Passing the Baton: What causes you to simply be? Or are you like me and have trouble pausing, and breathing, and taking in the things we take for granted? What is one thing you are thankful today that without it, you wouldn’t be you?

_______________
Seek Peace. Choose Joy. Breath Hope. Live Faith.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

Since my blog is about being honest, here goes nothing.

I really don’t want to be grateful today.

I think I forgot how to run this week.

Pause

Breathe

I need this today. I mean, I really need this today.

You all know I started school again this week, and taking summer intensives is hard. I’ve forgotten how hard cramming 16 weeks of class into 16 days is. And since I’ve been on pause from school for about two years, my mind doesn’t feel as fresh as it used too.  As academic as it used too. Which means that the test I bombed today, and the case study I failed really didn’t help my thinking. Nor did the fact that after I’m done with my classes for the day I just study. I haven’t had time for running.

So I’ve pretty much been full of self-doubt, and wondering if I should even become a teacher… if this is the right program for me… if I can really do this…if I’ll ever have time to train for a marathon.

What the crap.

I’m a triathlete.
I’ve finished four half-marathons.
I’m attempting my first marathon.
I do endurance like it’s nothing, and yet, after one week of class and a few grades, I turn to a puddle of mush.
I wallowed in my self-pity-my-brain-has-disintegrated-and-I’m-no-longer-smart attitude all day.

What the crap is wrong with me.

I’ll tell you what is wrong with me.
I’m not grateful.
I’m not thankful.

And I haven’t been all week.

The thought that I’m back in school…that I get the chance to be back in school didn’t even cross my mind.
I haven’t even stopped to think about, and revel in the fact that I’m back in school: a place I love.
Honestly, I shouldn’t be worried about a few failed (which is really just sub par C for me) assignments. I should be thinking how those failures are successes because it means I’m pushing my brain again.
I’m learning.
After all, a failed run is still a run. It’s a time I’ve used to learn something. It’s a time to make myself better.
Take Tuesday for instance. I met my RB late afternoon-ish, about 12 hours later than we usually run.
We did our 4 mile loop, of which only 30 minutes were spent running because it was a time of day I wasn’t used to running at, I was tired, it was super hot, and I was dehydrated.
A bad run?
no

I ran about 3 miles which means I ran. I finished something.
And I learned.
I need to run more in the afternoon to build my stamina back up.

And I definitely need to keep working on my hydration.
Did I wallow after that run?
most definitely not

So I’m done wallowing. It was a couple of stupid grades. Whatever.
Next week is a new week. New experience. New chances to learn.
Time to keep running.

Thought for your Thursday: Are you a wallow-er? Are you the type of person who has trouble accepting failure, or seeing the better side of failure? What do you do to get yourself back in the race? How do you shift your focus? How do you keep running?

________

Seek Peace. Find Strong.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

Music Man and I had the craziest thing happen to us this week. (I swear I’ll have a whole post dedicated to it soon.) Last Friday, he got a random email from the Student Veterans of America, Illinois chapter offering him +1 the chance to go to a listening party and meet and greet with John Mayer.
Now, Music Man and I have been Mayer fans since the beginning so we jumped at the chance. Except that it was in Chicago. At 4:30. On a Tuesday.
We were both working, I had a dentist appt, there was the question of money, etc. I started filling my head with all sorts of negative crazy thoughts instead of enjoying this crazy, good chance we could have.
So, we worked out our work schedules, cancelled the dentist appt, and realized that the whole thing was free. We just had to get there.

So we did.

Except, anxiety-driven me freaked out at the $28 public parking lots, getting there on time, spending more money then we really should. Etc.

I didn’t ruin the night, though I almost did..and often do thanks to my anxiety…but I couldn’t just simply be thankful.

 

Thought for your Thursday: Why is it always so much easier to go to the negative thoughts? Why do we (or some of us) have such a hard time immediately thinking positively about a situation instead of negative? Could being thankful, even for a ridiculous parking ticket, change the mood and banish the anxiety? What if we went one whole day where we were thankful for everything? If we wrote it down, kept a day journal, and no matter what happened, we said “thank you for this opportunity/moment.” Because honestly, we may be getting the moment. But think about the millions of those who aren’t.

Though for Thursday: Gratitude

Today is my one day of vacation this week that’s actually vacation. No observing. No big plans. Time to clean a bit and maybe just relax.
So what did I do this morning?
I woke up at 5am and went running with RB.
After taking last week off, she’s itching to get running with me again, mainly because we both know that we are more accountable with each other. I actually get out of bed when I know I have to meet her. And vice versa.
I really didn’t want to run. Honestly, I wanted to sleep in.
And, my leg is still being stupid. And I’m in that middle-of-races-mode where I don’t technically have anything to train for because I haven’t paid the race fee yet, and I’m self-doubting because after eight days off I’m afraid I won’t remember how to run.
Plus I attempted running Tuesday evening on the treadmill and it was a disaster.
But then I remembered, I get to run.
I mean, sure, I have the choice of whether I want to run or not, but either way, I still get to make that choice.
Some people aren’t that lucky. There are those out there in so many different circumstances than mine, that aren’t able to experience the joy of movement.

There probably will be a day when my legs no longer can move across the pavement, and I pray it’s later than sooner, but when I woke up this morning I knew today wasn’t that day.
And so I put in 4 miles, thankful only for movement.
Thought for your Thursday: What if every run we were thankful just for movement? What if, even on those days when we are focused on splits and end times, we celebrated the fact that we are able to run? That in truth, no matter how hard that run was, it was still effortless for our body? What if that thought spurred us to run for those who can’t move? What if, somehow, our movement could help others?
_____________
Choose Joy. Breathe Hope.

Monday Morning Meditation: Thankfulness

I could spend my morning in anxiousness or I could seek peace.
And this morning, I choose peace.
I would like to thank my 30-day [home practice] yoga challenge.

Saturday marked the last day of the challenge, and I am here to tell you it was a success.
I never missed one day of my yoga practice this past month; however, I never really made it into a deep, hour long practice either. Most of my mornings were spent in 10 to 20 minute increments of yoga often focusing on trouble spots, mainly because I didn't want to wake up any earlier than I already do. BUT, the winning part of this challenge is that even if I never spent a long time doing sequences, or even if my hamstrings are still tight as ever, or even if I still have muscles that need healing, my mind has settled down.

And that has been worth the challenge.