Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude and what I take for granted

Lately, I’ve been wondering about this rascal.

For a good minute last week, I thought I had poisoned him. But, the bag of food we had for him wasn’t part of the recall.
Then, last night I had the creepiest dream about him having a stroke, and being all off balance and wobbly. Probably because I saw a three legged dog yesterday.

And then this morning as I walked in the door from my morning run, my best friend proceeded to tell me she awoke to the sound of my dog barfing.

Eureka, I’ve discovered the cause of the secret spots.

So… we have a vet appointment tomorrow to see what’s up with the guy.

Yup. HIs barf was definitely part of my morning, as was the fact that I got to haul our our overloaded garbage.
My least favorite chore ever that Music Man somehow manages to weasel out of every time he leaves.

But as I was carrying the stinky bag full of barf infused napkins across the parking lot, I started thinking.
Even though I don’t normally handle this chore, I was thankful for the chance.

Because it reminded me of how someone in my life will take care of something I hate to do, just to help out or make me feel better.
And that even though JJ is a dog, he’s still a beating heart to care for and one prepping me for a whole lot more caring down the road.

It got me thinking about gratitude and my 25th year, and how I’m on this search to banish anxiety and find happiness.
But then I though, what if I don’t accomplish every single thing on my list?
Will I not be joyful? Will I be disappointed? Will I not have mastered the act of happiness?

No.

Because no matter much I try to find happiness, I think happiness is already here.

It’s in the small things.

It’s in the daily things.

It’s in the fact that Music Man always takes out the garbage, or takes JJ outside before bed just so I don’t have too.

It’s in the fact that even though I had a horrible-beautiful run this morning, I was able to get up and move.

It’s in the fact that even though JJ might be sick and is a little mopey because Music Man is gone, he is able to feel and love.
And tomorrow is his birthday.

I’m not going to give up my quest and just forget about the 25th year, because those really are things I want to do for me. And in fact, I’m making progress on them and they truly are helping me to let go of my anxiety.

And I know some of you might read my blog and think, “she complains a lot” because I talk about missing my husband while he’s gone, or I talk about how hard running really is for me.

But this is a blog about my life.
A blog about enduring through my life.

And so that means I’m going to talk about the hard stuff I face, and yeah, I’m probably going to complain about it some, and then write about it all metaphorically because that’s what I do.

But it’s a little thing that makes me happy.

Words.
Sharing with you, even if I don’t know who you are.

Because my hope is that in sharing  my little things—especially in gratitude—is that  I’m able to help you find yours.

 

"Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy."
~Stephen King, On Writing

Thought for your Thursday: How are you getting happy today? This week? What’s something little in your life that if you thought about it right now would make you smile?
____________________
Seek Peace. Choose Joy

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

So many things this week to be thinking of and thankful for.

I feel that’s one of the reasons this has been such a happy week.

As much as I’m seeking contentment, and learning how to control anxiety, and to just let things go….it’s the thankful aspect that really, truly, helps me to understand contentment and joy.

Without further ado, my thankful thoughts of the week.

1. Music Man is home. Yes, he’s got another away stint next month, but that’s next month. This week is this week, and despite work and class and just plain busyness. He. Is. Home.
2. I’m thankful that Music man is willing to work an outrageous amount of hours and like a little peon to provide for us while I’ve started summer school. Someday, we’ll be looking back and thinking “remember when we did those ridiculous things like sling around boxes and wait tables to pay rent?” Our future kids will thank us.
3. Fruit. ‘Nuff said.
4. Tomorrow is my last day of my online class and then I'm home free for two weeks. I WILL conquer my stack of free reading books. I WILL write. I may paint our bedroom.
5. Tuesday may have been my last day running with RB since she’s moving this weekend, but I’m thankful for her encouragement. I signed up for my first marathon because of her. I even got up early and ran on my own this morning because of her. She helped me realize the importance of a running buddy, and how sometimes, we all need someone to push us.
6. JJ. He’s crazy and maybe sick right now, or just getting old, or just dealing with a bout of some feet issues but no matter how much pain he is in, he knows how to love.
7. Running. I’m thankful to move. To choose to move. To want to move. To enjoy moving. To get to train in the mornings and to coach ladies in the evenings and to run with a group on the weekends.  I love falling in love with running again.
8. Finally, this.
   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know. People probably think I’m crazy, and it hurts my heart that this kind of weather is causing so much loss in Colorado, but I do love summer.

I love the sun. I love the heat.
And it reminds me of Texas.

Thought for your Thursday: If you had to list, say 7 things, you were thankful for this week, what would you say? Would those things already be in the forefront of your mind or would it take you awhile to discover them?

__________
Choose Joy.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

It’s been an interesting 3.5 weeks.
Sometimes I take for granted that my husband is still a soldier, and so, when he has to leave for training, it really makes me think about the life we have together.

And yes, it’s far from perfect.
And yes, we’re back to being poor, married, college students with a dog for our kid.

And I may or may not be going through a quarter life crisis because my “life plan” has changed.
And there are many, many days when I wish we had a house of our own, we were settled in careers, or we could vacation in Hawaii.

But now that I’m learning to breathe, I stop and realize that all that wishing/wanting can sometimes make me forget the great life we do have.

 

We have a roof over our head  that’s a place for our youth group kids to come and hang out at and we have neighbors who are the most wonderful women.
We may not be headed to Hawaii this year, but I have plans for fun… you just wait.
We may not have careers yet, but we’re both pursuing our passions. And I’m writing.
And we may not be rich monetarily, but we are truly rich: in Grace, in love, in friends, and in family.

 

This past weekend I got to escape to visit my family for the weekend, and of course I took the kid with me.

And it was such a nice little getaway from my hermitness.
I spent time with my mom and dad who I celebrated on Dad’s day, and I got to visit with my brother and talk about his upcoming wedding and first full time job he just landed.
But the best part might have just been movie time with Wonder Woman.
I mean… I’m not a huge Cruise fan, but for almost 50, he sure rocked it out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve firmly decided that if my own Music Man ever becomes a Rock God, I’ll definitely be his groupie.
I am a musical NERD, and it’s something I share with Wonder Woman. We had a ridiculous amount of fun, and I contribute that to her and my dad, because if it wasn’t for their musical taste, I wouldn’t have grown up with this music.
And I LOVE sharing in things with family.
Both my nuclear and in-laws. There is so much debt to Music Man and I’s family, and someday when we do bring children into it, they will be the most loved and weirdest beings ever.

I’m learning that it’s the small things.
It’s not the fancy vacations, or the two story, blue shuttered home, or the career or even having my blog overflowing with comments that brings gratitude.
It’s the things and people and passions and love I have in my life that are constant and unchanging that bring an outpouring of gratitude.

Because those things last.
And Hawaii, well, pictures only do so much.

Passing the baton: What are you grateful for this week? Have any little things just brought an overabundance of joy to you this week? What made you smile?

___________________
Seek Peace. Choose Joy.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

 

My days should be filled with this prayer.

 

But most days aren’t

I worry. I stress. I get anxious. I complain.

When honestly, the mornings I wake up and I have breath and I can move and I can love…

those are days some people do not or will not ever get.

Today is Thursday, and it’s slowly been becoming a day when I meditate and reflect and share gratitude.

And after two tests, 1 quiz, and a week of reading… I would normally be giving extra thanks.

But I’m throwing those things aside today and simply being.

 

Because thankfulness… it isn’t always something to express in words.

It’s something to just be.

Passing the Baton: What causes you to simply be? Or are you like me and have trouble pausing, and breathing, and taking in the things we take for granted? What is one thing you are thankful today that without it, you wouldn’t be you?

_______________
Seek Peace. Choose Joy. Breath Hope. Live Faith.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

Since my blog is about being honest, here goes nothing.

I really don’t want to be grateful today.

I think I forgot how to run this week.

Pause

Breathe

I need this today. I mean, I really need this today.

You all know I started school again this week, and taking summer intensives is hard. I’ve forgotten how hard cramming 16 weeks of class into 16 days is. And since I’ve been on pause from school for about two years, my mind doesn’t feel as fresh as it used too.  As academic as it used too. Which means that the test I bombed today, and the case study I failed really didn’t help my thinking. Nor did the fact that after I’m done with my classes for the day I just study. I haven’t had time for running.

So I’ve pretty much been full of self-doubt, and wondering if I should even become a teacher… if this is the right program for me… if I can really do this…if I’ll ever have time to train for a marathon.

What the crap.

I’m a triathlete.
I’ve finished four half-marathons.
I’m attempting my first marathon.
I do endurance like it’s nothing, and yet, after one week of class and a few grades, I turn to a puddle of mush.
I wallowed in my self-pity-my-brain-has-disintegrated-and-I’m-no-longer-smart attitude all day.

What the crap is wrong with me.

I’ll tell you what is wrong with me.
I’m not grateful.
I’m not thankful.

And I haven’t been all week.

The thought that I’m back in school…that I get the chance to be back in school didn’t even cross my mind.
I haven’t even stopped to think about, and revel in the fact that I’m back in school: a place I love.
Honestly, I shouldn’t be worried about a few failed (which is really just sub par C for me) assignments. I should be thinking how those failures are successes because it means I’m pushing my brain again.
I’m learning.
After all, a failed run is still a run. It’s a time I’ve used to learn something. It’s a time to make myself better.
Take Tuesday for instance. I met my RB late afternoon-ish, about 12 hours later than we usually run.
We did our 4 mile loop, of which only 30 minutes were spent running because it was a time of day I wasn’t used to running at, I was tired, it was super hot, and I was dehydrated.
A bad run?
no

I ran about 3 miles which means I ran. I finished something.
And I learned.
I need to run more in the afternoon to build my stamina back up.

And I definitely need to keep working on my hydration.
Did I wallow after that run?
most definitely not

So I’m done wallowing. It was a couple of stupid grades. Whatever.
Next week is a new week. New experience. New chances to learn.
Time to keep running.

Thought for your Thursday: Are you a wallow-er? Are you the type of person who has trouble accepting failure, or seeing the better side of failure? What do you do to get yourself back in the race? How do you shift your focus? How do you keep running?

________

Seek Peace. Find Strong.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

Music Man and I had the craziest thing happen to us this week. (I swear I’ll have a whole post dedicated to it soon.) Last Friday, he got a random email from the Student Veterans of America, Illinois chapter offering him +1 the chance to go to a listening party and meet and greet with John Mayer.
Now, Music Man and I have been Mayer fans since the beginning so we jumped at the chance. Except that it was in Chicago. At 4:30. On a Tuesday.
We were both working, I had a dentist appt, there was the question of money, etc. I started filling my head with all sorts of negative crazy thoughts instead of enjoying this crazy, good chance we could have.
So, we worked out our work schedules, cancelled the dentist appt, and realized that the whole thing was free. We just had to get there.

So we did.

Except, anxiety-driven me freaked out at the $28 public parking lots, getting there on time, spending more money then we really should. Etc.

I didn’t ruin the night, though I almost did..and often do thanks to my anxiety…but I couldn’t just simply be thankful.

 

Thought for your Thursday: Why is it always so much easier to go to the negative thoughts? Why do we (or some of us) have such a hard time immediately thinking positively about a situation instead of negative? Could being thankful, even for a ridiculous parking ticket, change the mood and banish the anxiety? What if we went one whole day where we were thankful for everything? If we wrote it down, kept a day journal, and no matter what happened, we said “thank you for this opportunity/moment.” Because honestly, we may be getting the moment. But think about the millions of those who aren’t.

Though for Thursday: Gratitude

Today is my one day of vacation this week that’s actually vacation. No observing. No big plans. Time to clean a bit and maybe just relax.
So what did I do this morning?
I woke up at 5am and went running with RB.
After taking last week off, she’s itching to get running with me again, mainly because we both know that we are more accountable with each other. I actually get out of bed when I know I have to meet her. And vice versa.
I really didn’t want to run. Honestly, I wanted to sleep in.
And, my leg is still being stupid. And I’m in that middle-of-races-mode where I don’t technically have anything to train for because I haven’t paid the race fee yet, and I’m self-doubting because after eight days off I’m afraid I won’t remember how to run.
Plus I attempted running Tuesday evening on the treadmill and it was a disaster.
But then I remembered, I get to run.
I mean, sure, I have the choice of whether I want to run or not, but either way, I still get to make that choice.
Some people aren’t that lucky. There are those out there in so many different circumstances than mine, that aren’t able to experience the joy of movement.

There probably will be a day when my legs no longer can move across the pavement, and I pray it’s later than sooner, but when I woke up this morning I knew today wasn’t that day.
And so I put in 4 miles, thankful only for movement.
Thought for your Thursday: What if every run we were thankful just for movement? What if, even on those days when we are focused on splits and end times, we celebrated the fact that we are able to run? That in truth, no matter how hard that run was, it was still effortless for our body? What if that thought spurred us to run for those who can’t move? What if, somehow, our movement could help others?
_____________
Choose Joy. Breathe Hope.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

 

As I’ve ventured on  my quest this year, one thing I have been diligently trying to do every day is to be thankful.

Thanksgiving can bring us a joy we have never known before, and I figured that I may never fully be able to banish anxiety, but I could perhaps try and replace it with something else.

Thus, Thanksgiving.

I have noticed a significant change in my attitude. To be honest, it is definitely  a work in progress because there are still times  when I get caught up in the moment and find myself tense or focusing on the negative; but there have been many times when I have shifted my thinking to a moment of thanksgiving without hesitation. It has become a progressive act for me.
Thanksgiving is becoming my verb.

Thought for your Thursday: Thanksgiving, as a noun, may be a holiday we share once a year with our family to gather around a table, splurge on food, and remember why we are thankful. But what if we lived everyday with thanksgiving as a verb and always gave it away?

__________

Seek peace. Choose joy. Breathe hope.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

Thought for your Thursday: What if we chose to only be ourselves? To run how we run? To finish in the time we are capable of? Sometimes, I get so caught up in the running-blog world, that I forget I’m not those girls. I haven’t been running as long as them. I haven’t run the amount of mileage they have run. I don’t have super long legs that are injury-free like them. And so, because I forget that, I sometimes am disappointed in my finish time, or the fact that I might not be able to push myself to 8 min/miles at the race this weekend.
But if I choose my joy, then I’ll realize that 8:30 min/miles are a MILESTONE for me. Last year, I couldn’t run that fast.
But today, I can.
Be happy in your own milestones. Because as you keep running, you’re pace will get faster, the mileage will add up, and you WILL cross that finish line.
Be you.
Chose your joy.
_____
Choose joy. Find strong.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

A thought for your Thursday:   It's simple today.  Whatever you do, do it in joy.
You will be changed.

Thought for a Thursday: Gratitude

More credit to the endorphins.

A thought for your Thursday:  What if we incorporated more joy into our life? What would happen if we actually chose to be joyful?

Let's see what happens today. 

Thought for a Thursday [I like alliteration]: Gratefulness

This just struck me today. Perhaps this gal (Yup, her again. Mainly because I love her writing style, she's an awesome runner, and she has this crazy positive outlook on life that I can't help but want to adopt!) is rubbing off on me. I think my quest also has a huge factor in my starting-to-be-more-positive-about-everything lifestyle. I credit the endorphins too.

Anyway, just a thought for your Thursday evening: When you wake up tomorrow, be grateful. See how your day changes.