June 12, 2012

Angry Birds on my lawn and the Great Pineapple Conquer

I have a smart phone. But I use it for smart things.

I don’t play Angry Birds.

But this week, I’m sort of wishing I did.

Because there is a psycho black bird living in the trees that has been attacking me this week.

I’m not even joking.

The birds have been quite lively this week, and it turns out there is a flock of about three baby somethings living out front of our apartment.

I say somethings because they are ugly little guys that I think might be Robins.
It looks as if their nest has fallen out of the tree, so the three of them sort of hope from one tree to the other.
But I always know which one they are in considering the Mama bird dive bombs me every time I take JJ for a potty break.

I don’t know if the horse intimidates her, or what it is because we normally stay away from the trees, but boy is she being a hover parent.
I mean seriously.

I’m working on toilet training JJ because this crazy old bird squawks and dive bombs us, and I’m currently afraid for my life.
Thank you mother for never dive-bombing people when I was a kid.
Those birdies have got to be so embarrassed.


In other news, I had a Great Pineapple Conquer yesterday.

I often wish I lived in Hawaii so I could have fresh pineapple on a whim.
Except that the whole spiky outer shell can be intimidating.

But not with this baby.

Granted, all pineapples now come with instructions on how to open them, and I felt SUPER strong twisting the crown off, but, this is a must have tool in my kitchen.

I actually got it two years ago as a wedding shower gift from my best friend’s sister, and until this week, didn’t have the courage to use it.

It’s simple really.
You twist the top off, stick the corer on top, and start twisting.
There’s a grated edge on the bottom that digs in and carves up the inside of the pineapple so you get this sort of goodness

Plus a phallic looking pineapple shell,

And a whole bunch of fresh juice which I downed in about 3 seconds flat.

I pretty much feel like I can conquer anything now.

Perhaps I should try a live version of Angry Birds. I might win.

Or, perhaps not.

Passing the Baton:  Any tricks for slicing/coring pineapple? Do you even like pineapple? I eat it like it’s going out of style. How about for psycho birds? Should I act all crazy so she leaves me alone, ignore her, or throw rocks at her?

Choose Joy.