April 9, 2012

Motivating Monday: Overcoming Doubts

As per every Sunday lately, I did my long run yesterday. And I think I’m going to do a little adjustment to last week’s long run.

Here’s the thing. I’ve been taking a break this week from running. Last week,  I was nine weeks into my training, and I was tired. The last couple of weeks had been busy at work, I had a lot going on in the evenings, and my body was just in need of dire rest. So, I slept in some last week, did more yoga than usual, and skipped over my morning runs. I just needed a break.

So I was a little nervous yesterday heading out on my nine miler. Now logically, I know that one week off will not set me back at all or cause me to lose any fitness, in fact, rest often brings me back stronger. But subconsciously, my mind was feeding me a bunch of crap about how there was no way I was going to be able to run nine miles. Especially since last week’s run was still sitting in the forefront of my brain, plaguing me with disappointment. And then once I headed out, my hip joint decided to flare up a bit.

Sometimes I just get tired of running with pain.
Most times I get tired of my brain telling me I can’t.
Often times I fight both of those battles every. single. time. I head out to run.

But yesterday was different, I struggled.
I broke my run up into segments because I’m finding if I tell myself to run a shorter distance, then when I hit  mileage I turn around and pretend to run another short distance, I cover the long run  better. I was going for a 1 mile warm up, then 3.5 miles, 3.5 miles, 1 mile cool down. But of course, I started off a little too fast for a warm up with an 8:46 pace. But that first mile gave me the strength I needed to face my run yesterday.

Taking a break always causes me to lose a tiny bit of confidence in myself. I'm also at the point in my training where I start to question whether or not I really will be able to run 13.1 miles. I'm starting to get nervous. I'm starting to get that finish line anxiety. I'm starting to let doubt take over my strength. And when that shred of doubt creeps in telling me I can’t run however far, it’s like I just can’t shake it from my mind until I prove it wrong.

But let me tell you, I’m the type of person who likes to prove things and people wrong.
Don’t tell me I can’t do something. Because I’ll do it tenfold.

So after my first mile, I powered down and pushed forward.
And I finished 9.01 miles in 1 hour 21 minutes.

It was a good run, and 9 miles is often where I hit the wall during a half marathon, but I felt strong. I knew I could run more yesterday.

In fact, after I finished, I knew immediately that I had run longer last week than I’d measured.
Despite the GPS screwing up, despite what mapping out the route told me, I’m standing firm that last week I hit 9 miles, too.

And there will be no shred of doubt in my mind this week that I won't finish my race.
Because I’m stronger than I often think.

Passing the baton: What was your weekend like? Did you have a long run you conquered? Did you power through